99 Lines of Love & Loss

Chest can’t breathe
Eyes can’t see
Throat can’t speak
Heart can’t beat
You’ve gained a guardian angel
That’s what people say
Grief is about letting go
All will be ok
Well happy frickin’ days!
Hip hip hooray!
I don’t want him up there
Why couldn’t he stay?
Confidence gone
Without my number one fan
I was there in the dark
I had lost my spark
Dreams shattered
Worlds torn upside down
What were we?
And who the hell am I?
Gifts you have left me
I can’t really explain
I’ve tread muddy waters now
I don’t look at life the same
My power
My limbs
Throat could not
Cries were so
Nature gives me comfort
Animals they just know
My fragile heart feels warm here
Healing me from head to toe
Tolerance has changed
Shedding as I go
Cycles start and finish
The ground doesn’t seem as low
Untold stories held in my body
Breathing and letting go
Blockages cracking, releasing

Energy starts to flow
And like that
someone vanishes
they just
alone and stranded
you are left thinking
when are new
Trauma and PTSD
does that really apply to me?
therapy helps
it makes all the
fears in me see
I could bring the house down
and still not lose my crown
So, I’ll stay true to me
and let others just be
Be gentle with people
because they are probably a little broke
This whole “be kind” movement
is great!
but unfortunately
most people
aren’t that
authentically “woke”
The path to enlightenment
whatever that means
what if being higher isn’t the answer
but being
down in the dirt
on your knees
For me it meant knowing
and feeling it for real
keeps us growing
that is
the real deal
Hope is always here
Try to live without fear
Matter doesn’t just disappear

Lost loved ones are near
Open your heart full
Be your own school
Love isn’t just about giving it away
Love for yourself is where it lays
Pain and love
They are dualities
And opposites attract
Love and pain
They are realities
It’s all worth it
for what you
learn about yourself
in the lack.