Aberdeen City Council are delighted to announce our next endeavour. After the unprecedented success of Development, our efforts will be bolstered two-fold, into the avenues of perpetuation and negation. We must continue ascension, while also laying the groundwork for a descension-based strategy of fulfilment.
There is a need to encompass opposites, in our world. A forever-dance of extremes. It is why we despise lateral movement. We have tried our best in stopping these unnatural urges in the public – re-coding the traffic lights to remain as three static orbs, for example – to represent the finest inconvenience has to offer. Cars and vehicles stain this flat architecture. How perfect would Aberdeen be without movement?
We much prefer verticality. Hierarchical monoliths. No scars or scuffs along a building’s pristine line. No possibility for scaling along decadent horizontal trajectories. It is not the act of sideway action that is so grievous, but the potential for it. We cannot abide risk. If there is risk there is death for the project; our projects become imperfect with risk. That is unacceptable.
Hence our great precaution: all roads in Aberdeen will be destroyed. Tarmac, abolished. Impeccable black canyons will lace their way through Union Street, to Rosemount, to the West End. An urban gorge. Buildings will be widened to the tip of the kerb. After this initial groundwork we will renovate the suburban caverns, the underground lakes, auxiliary catacombs and defunct piping. These will be replaced with apartments, shopping complexes and gyms.
We will dig until we hit the world’s core, its molten heart, that or an unspeakable horror. The act is what matters – not results. Profit in the making, not the creation itself. Now we have conquered Heaven we must conquer Hell. Stretch the metaphor to meaninglessness; twist that to an advantage.
Two extremes. One council. The project will be called Abyss. Look up. Look down. Feel centred.